channelling affect through a repeatable gesture

[…] This sessions were intense. I was surprised with my own immidiate immersion into realistic enactments of the narration that was unfolding in my head. And of the intensity of this enactments. What I mean is that I would think of myself as an performer who would rather search for metaphores in acting, for symbolic forms, who would build pieces of physical and musical structure first without emotional engagement. Here, in this work, I seem to act quite opposite. I started with associations which quickly transformated into moods that were the starting point for building a physical structure on them. I felt pretty ackward but encouraged at the same time because of the understanding that Judaica Project is orientated towards the process of the research at least in the same extent as the effect. So I could relax, release the leash of habbits and experiment. Later on we had a long conversation about it. We spoke of Stanislavsky’s ‘perezhivanie’, living-through, presence, associations, structure, emotions, affect, controlled ‘temporal insanity’. We contemplated differences and relationships between them. We asked ourselves questions like: can one structure associations? Can one structure emotions? […]