The Children of Herakles

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- VERMILION's TEXT -


[Communique: 02.20.03]

current project: the war room


[Communique: 02.18.03]

I have just watched The Loss of Sexual Innocence.

Sexual desire is a physical phenomenon, but like all physical things it gets its meaning in the psychological and cultural realms. At the most basic level, what arouses us is a certain kind of touch - but beyond there is where it gets interesting. A fetish is anything that arouses us without being actual sexual touch. Perhaps it is something that reminds us of that touch: An image, a sound, a smell, an idea can turn us on because we are human, and where humans live the world is thick with meaning.

A fetish is something linked to sexual desire by psychocultural means, something other than the actual touch that we call sex. To be straight is to have a fetish for the opposite sex, or for the idea that there is an "opposite" sex. To be homosexual is to have a fetish for your own sex and the idea of that. To be bisexual is not to have a gender fetish at all, or to have both. To be queer is to know what your fetishes are and to know that they are fetishes.

Fetishes are real, culture is real, psychology is real. Fetishes give meaning to our sexuality and they are the reason why sex is not just about sex. Like all aspects of culture, fetishes have complex relationships to power in society. A heterosexual fetish is different than a homosexual fetish. A fetish for thin is different than a fetish for fat. A fetish for gentle sex is different than a fetish for rough sex. A fetish for feet is different than a fetish for legs. There is no such thing as getting rid of fetishes and no reason to want to do so. Why would we want to reduce our sexual meaning down to pure physical contact any more than we would try to rid ourselves of culture and live only for food and shelter?

Sometimes our fetishes are what we want but think we cannot have. Sometimes our fetishes are our greatest fears. Perhaps being straight comes from the fear that there really are two opposite sexes, that we cannot know each other across those lines. There are many fetishes about power, about racial others, about emotional distance and violence... And there are fetishes about romance, unity, domesticity, emotional connection and love. None of these are the same as any other, nor is the same fetish the same for two different people.

There is much thinking to be done here, but it does not involve identifying fetishes or trying to do away with them in favor of a more neutral (neutered) sexuality. Find your fetishes and use them, own them, play with them, not like an addict or a puritan but with style. This is what it means to be queer.


[Communique: 02.17.03]

This is a theater against war.


[Communique: 02.14.03]

Happy Valentine's Day?

There is a new webpage for Science Project.


[Communique: 02.13.03]

Relax. Pay attention.

- Capoeira Contra-Master Gulliver

It's as if there were angels in the next room beyond thick walls -- arguing? fucking? One can't make out a single word...

- Hakim Bey
Immediatism


[Communique: 02.12.03]

The first & most innocent-seeming obstacle to any Immediatist project will be the "busyness" or "need to make a living" faced by each of its associates. However there is no real innocence here -- only our profound ignorance of the ways in which Capitalism itself is organized to prevent all genuine conviviality.

No sooner have a group of friends begun to visualize immediate goals realizable only through solidarity & cooperation, when suddenly one of them will be offered a "good" job in Cincinnati or teaching English in Taiwan -- or else have to move back to California to care for a dying parent -- or else they'll lose the "good" job they already have & be reduced to a state of misery which precludes their very enjoyment of the group's project or goals (i.e. they'll become "depressed"). At the most mundane-seeming level, the group will fail to agree on a day of the week for meetings because everyone is "busy." But this is not mundane. It's sheer cosmic evil.

- Hakim Bey
Immediatism

Who wants to fight SHEER COSMIC EVIL with me?

Word.


[Communique: 02.09.03]

Just got back from seeing Lovebird With a Mirror at 424 Broadway, The Artist Network. It's so rare for me to see a play and actually find it sexy, and even more rare among plays that are not markedly queer. But this is indeed a sexy play.

Dealing with sex onstage always disrupts the solidity of the fourth wall. Sex is located so materially and so inescapably in our bodies that its appearance prevents us from maintaining the normal separation between performer and character on which traditional theater is based. When a character is insulted on stage, no one feels bad for the actor, but when a hand is placed on a character's crotch, everyone knows that the actor feels it too. A hand laid on a breast is a hand laid on a breast; there is no getting around it. Thus the fourth wall becomes permeable at the point of sexual (or violent, or messy) contact in a way that it does not through normal or pedestrian contact. And at the moment of contact it is as if a wave of electricity travels through the audience.

Then James Griffiths ... says ... "The performance is now stopped. You people have the following choices. First, you can come into the circle, and the performance will continue; second, you can go to anyone else in the room and ask them to take your place, and, if they do, the performance will continue; third, you can stay where you are, and the performance will remain stopped; or fourth, you can go home, and the performance will continue in your absence."

Whenever Griffiths recites these conditions, there is a shock wave in the theater. The "real world" penetrates the "theater world" interrupting a performance.

- Richard Schechner
Environmental Theater

Sexuality in theater is always a place where the fourth wall becomes porous, where fiction and nonfiction leak and cross-pollinate. The reluctance of most theater to be sexually explicit is entirely because most theater does not want to break the solidity of the fourth wall.

My desire is to make theater which engages in such dual-world actions (actions that exist in both the "real world" and the "theater world") in order to do a certain kind of research on social topics. For example, when an ensemble begins to work on a piece that will involve sex and sexuality, they automatically have to face all those critical questions that face us in the larger society. Most importantly, will women and queers and other sexual "minorities" feel safe in the work?

[PHOTOGRAPH of audience] participation in the Caress scene of Dionysus. The performers are the women in panties and halters. Everyone else is audience. After three months the scene was dropped. Too often performers - especially the women - felt used, prostituted.

- Richard Schechner
Environmental Theater

Issues pertaining to the objectifiction of women under patriarchy may be addressed in many ways. Sexual harassment and gendered disrespect can be studied sociologically, psychologically, anthropologically, etc. My interest is in studying such issues theatrically, as Schechner describes above. A theatrical ensemble is always a microcosm, perfectly well suited to research all social issues that pertain to the common culture of the individuals who take part in it.

So what do we need these days? We need a forum where individuals and perhaps even small communities can come together across the lines of gender, sexuality, class, race, ethnicity, religion, nationality, and culture. We need to call town meetings across these stratifications, and at these town meetings we need to thoroughly investigate the interworkings and inter-relations of these different groups as part of our research towards the possibility of radical democracy (also called working anarchism). In my opinion, the participants in these town meetings should do more than just talk, and they should speak for more than just themselves. They should sing, dance, and play characters; they should tell stories and re-live memories and act out myths. In other words, they should make theater together, building it out of their own bodies and experiences to produce results that are meaningful not just within the ensemble but in the greater society at large.

So that is Rojo with hammer and saw. I think my deepest respect for him comes because he knows that environmental design = construction. The ideas are okay, the renderings beautiful, the models exciting - but it all comes down to hammers, nails, materials, and making the space into the shapes you need.

I think it's the same with performing. The daily physical commitment is what counts. The spirit is the body at work.

- Richard Schechner
Environmental Theater

"The spirit is the body at work."

SPIRIT = CULTURE

The theater is the laboratory of culture, of the spirit.


[Communique: 02.08.03]

Guilt is not a feeling. It is an intellectual mask to a feeling. Fear is a feeling -- fear of losing one's power, fear of being accused, fear of a loss of status, control, knowledge. Fear is real. Possibly this is the emotional, non-theoretical place from which serious anti-racist work among white feminists can begin.

- Cherrie Moraga
introduction to part three
This Bridge Called My Back

I still cannot write...

Why cannot I write?

Guilt turning into fear...


[Communique: 02.07.03]

I'm sick of filling in your gaps.

Sick of being your insurance against
The isolation of your self-imposed limitations...

I'm sick of mediating with your worst self
On behalf of your better selves

I am sick
Of having to remind you
To breathe
Before you suffocate
Your own fool self...

- Donna Kate Rushin,
"The Bridge Poem"
This Bridge Called My Back

Who comforts us in the deepest times?

I realize that this webpage is here most primarily to remind myself of who I am when I forget.

When I was young...

Isn't is strange how our greatest fears can be our greatest fetishes?

(cum-stained tears & tear-stained cum)

Who on this planet has not...


[Communique: 02.03.03]

This earth is my body. The sky is my body. The seasons are my body. The water is my body too. The world is just as big as my body. Do not think I am just in the east, west, south, or north. I am all over.

- Killer-of-Enemies, Apache Hero

It is no accident that the Word frequently accompanies the act of masturbation, that Gide shows Boris uttering his incantatory formula as an "open sesame." The onanist wants to take hold of the word as an object. When it is repeated aloud or in a whisper, it immediately acquires an objectivity and presence that are lacking in the object. The image remains something absent: I do not really see it, nor do I hear it. It is I who exhaust myself trying to hold it up. But if I utter the word, I can hear it. And if I succeed in taking my mind off myself when the word comes out of my mouth, if I succeed in forgetting that it is I who say it, I can listen to it as if it emanated from something else, and indeed even as if it were sounding all by itself.

- Sarte, introduction to Our Lady of the Flowers by Genet

I wrote a poem today.

It has been a long, long time.

Funny how it is only at that moment when you fly completely out of orbit, go totally crazy, and lose all reason in the heart of the sun, that you find yourself coming back to yourself.

I am sort of working in and around the Lysistrata Project.

LYSIS = CUTTING

STRATA = LAYERS

Everything else is up in the air. I am looking for space.



vermilion's text = journal of a rootless cosmopolitan
all text by bspatz
return to anagnorisis

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